Just Breathe

Victory out of Tragedy. Lisa Taylor-Kaczmarczyk holds a photo of her deceased son with the first place medal won by the man who now breathes because of his donated lungs.

A mother finds peace after meeting the man who lives because of her son’s lungs

By Nikki Roberti

It was a meeting six years in the making. Everyone was all smiles, but there was an air of nerves as they both sat at the table, surrounded by family. For Lisa Taylor-Kaczmarczyk, it was her granddaughters right beside her, and for Darryl Collins, it was his wife, Alli. 

This would be the first time sharing their story together—a story that bound them for life, laced with tears and blood and so much hardship.

Though strangers meeting for the first time, in a way, they were part of each other’s family.

After all, Darryl had a piece of Lisa’s son inside him. 

On May 30, 2012, Darryl received a double lung transplant after Lisa’s son, Eric, died by suicide on a mountain path near her house. 

Coming full circle. Lisa Taylor-Kaczmarczyk (left) and her husband, Robert (right), stand with Darryl Collins (center) after spending a weekend getting to know each other. Darryl received their son’s lungs in a transplant after he died in 2012. Their meeting was huge stepping stone in Lisa and her family finding peace and closure.

The Tragedy

She said she still remembers that day. Eric had gone for a walk and called her from his cellphone, asking Lisa to promise to take care of his young daughters if anything were to happen to him. She immediately knew something wasn’t right, and when his father, Robert, found him, Eric had shot himself in the head. He was nonresponsive, but still breathing. 

Eric was 22 and a fireman with the Foscoe Fire Department, so the rescue squad that came to his aid were his friends and colleagues. 

“It was a very emotional scene,” Lisa said. “You had all the state troopers, firefighters, dispatchers—all of them were going crazy, because it was one of their own.” 

A helicopter flew Eric 15 minutes to Johnson City for emergency medical care. Lisa said around 50 people gathered in the ICU to be there for him, refusing to leave even when hospital staff expressed concern about the size of the crowd. 

But despite medical intervention, Eric was brain dead from his injuries. And the Foscoe community lost one of their own. 

Just like the packed ICU, Lisa remembers how crowded the old Foscoe Christian Church was the day of his funeral.

“When I looked up and out into that church, people were standing in the back of the auditorium. They were back in the halls. I couldn’t even see all the people,” she said. “There was between 400 to 500 people packed into a church that held maybe 150.”

Eric was a special person loved by all. He was known for his dedication to the fire department. Even his best friend, the fire chief, shared at the funeral how a call would go out, and he’d still be getting his coat on when he’d see Eric drive by. He swore he thought Eric lived in his firefighter uniform. 

His final wish. Lisa Taylor-Kaczmarczyk’s son Eric was a beloved Foscoe firefighter who enjoyed fishing and loved his family. Despite the tragedy surrounding his death, his mother advocated for him to be an organ donor like he had chosen.

“He loved that fire department,” Lisa said. “He lived and breathed it.” 

Eric touched a lot of people in his life, but in the wake of his death, he would still continue to impact even more. Darryl Collins was one of those people.

The Transplant

Two days after Eric’s death, Darryl, 44, underwent surgery for his new lungs. When he was 24, he had been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, a terminal illness which greatly affected his ability to breathe. In February, he was put on an oxygen tank, but after falling ill despite always keeping fit as a P.E. teacher and athlete, he was having difficulties bouncing back this time. 

There’s a lot of uncertainty with lung transplants. Some people die waiting on the list. There was also the need for the lungs to be a size match. While they can shave down lungs to fit smaller people, for a bigger-framed person such as Darryl who was over six feet tall, they’d need a larger set of the organ. Due to the severity of Cystic Fibrosis, he also needed a full set of lungs, but often one lung collapses during the donation process because of the magnitude of the donor’s injuries. 

And after all that, there is organ rejection to watch for. Only about half of those who undergo a lung transplant are still alive after five years, according to Mayo Clinic.

Not only was Eric a perfect size match for Darryl, both his lungs survived the medical airlift. This past May, Darryl celebrated his seventh year post surgery with his new set of lungs. 

“It is not normally likely to have good lung function six years out, but mine is as good as it’s ever been now,” Darryl said. “It’s let me live. Friends of mine have [died] and there’s so many people who die every day from being on the list.”

According to the American Transplant Foundation, 20 Americans die each day, waiting for an organ transplant. Almost 114,000 people are waiting for a transplant in the U.S. with a new name being added to the list every 10 minutes.

A Selfless Decision

Darryl and his wife, Alli, didn’t know how his donor had died, but they were led to believe it was from a motorcycle accident. When they found out the truth, Darryl was in awe of the strength Eric’s family possessed to make the selfless decision of donating his organs after such a sudden and tragic circumstance.

“It’s amazing you let his organs be donated,” Darryl said to Lisa from across the table. “A lot of people at that time…they’re mad at that point—whenever my dad died from his heart attack… I was like no…I don’t want to even think about that.” 

Lisa said they knew they wanted to fulfill Eric’s desire to be an organ donor. To her, she found comfort knowing a piece of him got to live on in someone else.

“It was a tragedy. My son took his life,” Lisa said. “But on the other side, at least he made the choice to be a donor where he would save someone else’s life even if he didn’t want to continue his.”

Reaching Out

Eric’s family was a given a list of all the people he had donated to, however, they were never given any names. They knew a 44-year-old P.E. teacher/basketball coach had received both his lungs, a 55-year-old man studying to be a minister received his heart and kidney, and a 62-year-old retired EMT from the military received his liver. But any communication between either parties had to go through the Tennessee Donor Services and be initiated by the organ recipient. Darryl was encouraged to wait at least a year before reaching out in order to give the family space to heal after losing their loved one. So in April 2014, Darryl sent a letter to Eric’s family, expressing gratitude and the desire to meet. Lisa wouldn’t receive the letter for another year, but when she did, she immediately told the liaison organization to release her contact information. 

However, due to an error, the organization told Darryl the opposite. They said Eric’s family did not want to meet. But he didn’t give up and sent out three more letters hoping to finally get to thank his donor’s family in person.

Love conquers all. Darryl Collins endures life in the hospital with his fiance, Alli, who was his main caretaker during that time. They later married on the anniversary of his lung transplant.

“I can’t say I haven’t questioned God…But when Eric made the choice he made, it wasn’t the choice God made”

It took four more years after that first letter before the family would finally connect. In the meantime, both families walked through difficult times. For Darryl, recovery was intense. He said he remembered how badly that first breath hurt. His vocal chords were nicked during the transplant, and he had to undergo further surgery. He was supposed to live within 10 minutes of Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, Tenn. for three months and wear a mask constantly to protect the lungs.

Fighting for Family

For Lisa’s family, the struggle was in making sense of what happened in the wake of their grief.  Counselors told her situations like this often “make or a break a family.” Lisa decided she would fight for her family to survive this, but while she wanted to talk about it all, her husband tried to push it away.

“I’d walk into a room, and he’d walk out. He didn’t want to talk about it. He tried to not talk about it,” she said. “We finally had a knock out drag out about it.”

So they made a plan. Every Thursday, she and her husband had weekly “date nights” at the same restaurant to sit and specifically talk about Eric’s death. They’d hash it all out, get angry, cry, and then drive home past the fire station, see the trucks, and cry again—but it’s that kind of communication that saved their marriage. 

“We were told by counselors a tragedy like this very often will split a family. If it doesn’t split your family, it’ll make you tighter than ever,” she said. “And I think it’s what made our family tighter than ever.” 

Her faith also carried her through this dark time.

“I can’t say I haven’t questioned God…But when Eric made the choice he made, it wasn’t the choice God made,” she said. “I just know that I leaned on [God] a whole lot and prayed for strength and faith, and He has provided strength and faith for our family very much so.”

Darryl’s Journey to Recovery

As the years passed, Darryl’s health improved and he grew stronger. He exercised constantly to make sure he’d keep his new lungs healthy. In 2014, he was well enough to participate in the Transplant Games of America, an Olympic style event where organ recipients compete. Since then, he’s competed in racquetball, volleyball, swimming, running, and bicycling. Most of the participants are kidney guys, Darryl said. Not many participants had lung transplants because often, they’re still not healthy enough for rigorous exercise. But Darryl worked hard to take care of himself, especially now that he was given this new lease on life.

“[The doctors] said he was the poster child of lung transplants. The better the shape you are going in, the better results you get coming out,” Alli, 37, said. “The lungs couldn’t have gone to a better person.”

Eric’s lungs continued to be strong, and not only could Darryl compete, he won medals. After each event, Darryl watched as his competitors participated in the donor ceremony, honoring those who had given their organs to the athletes. Some living donors were there in person while others held pictures of their deceased donors. Darryl always wanted to honor his, but was still waiting to know anything about him. He didn’t even know his name.

But now, he can’t wait for the ceremony during the 2020 Transplant Games in New Jersey.

“This will be the first year I can have a picture for my donor ceremony,” he said. “Just knowing the sacrifice [the family] made, having their support—I guess, in a way, that a part of him is still living in me.”

From Tragedy to Miracle

When Lisa and Darryl finally connected, it’s like all the pieces came together for both families. Lisa said when she heard Darryl speak over the phone for the first time, she couldn’t stop crying.

“It wasn’t Eric’s voice, but it’s his lungs… putting that voice out there. He continues to live on through these other folks who are alive,” she said. “This is not upsetting. These are tears of joy. You don’t understand the peace that’s come behind it. I don’t know how to describe it.” 

Darryl pulled out a gift bag from under the table and presented the family with his first gold medal. He wanted them to have it. After all, it would never have been possible if it wasn’t for their selflessness during such a tragic time. 

Later, both families would leave that table and spend the weekend together, introducing Darryl to more of Eric’s family and celebrating an early Christmas together where they’d take turns listening to Eric’s lungs through a stethoscope.

Just breathe. Lisa Taylor-Kaczmarczyk smiles as she listens to her son’s lungs through a stethoscope on Darryl Collins for the first time.

He said when the family took turns listening to his lungs, he couldn’t help but shed some tears.

“It was just something I always wanted to do. I never thought I’d ever meet my donor family. I had about given up,” he said. “I went through a lot to make it to where I’m at now… [but] the reason I’m here is because of Eric.”

When Darryl thinks of everything both families went through, he said the verse Romans 8:28 comes to mind. “And we know that in all things, God works for those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

“I wasn’t thankful to God for Eric dying. But I was thankful that God worked out things for me. Thankful for God that I’m living,” he said. “In all things, God works for good. He worked it out for me through an unfortunate circumstance...God’s in control.”

Now that the families have met, they said they’ll still stay in touch and have been at least communicating via Facebook messenger a couple times a week.

“Out of a tragedy came a miracle,” Lisa said. “[Meeting Darryl] brought a peace for me that I had not had in six and a half years. I had not been at peace at all. And it brought peace.”

This article was originally written for the Summer 2019 Edition of The Journey magazine.