Generous Love in Action
Joy Groves on the campus of Oak Hill Academy
by Kim Furches
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13 KJV)
Nestled in Mouth of Wilson, Virginia, the private, Baptist-affiliated Oak Hill Academy offers 8th through 12th grade students from across the world an opportunity to excel academically and prepare for their next phases of life. While many remarkable teachers and staff impact the lives of students at Oak Hill daily, two of the employees have impacted each other in a way neither of them expected.
Guidance counselor Joy Groves and Doug “Rev” Turnmire, a religious studies teacher and pastor of the church on campus, originally met while Doug, Joy, and their respective spouses studied at Southern Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. Following college, Doug and his wife Ruth began serving at Oak Hill. Later, when Doug learned that Mike and Joy needed a place to work after Mike had completed his Ph.D., Doug approached the president of Oak Hill and advocated for Mike. There just happened to be a history teaching position available and since Mike had formerly taught history, the job became his. Doug, Ruth, and their daughters lived alongside Mike, Joy, and their sons on the campus of Oak Hill.
Life Changing News
At 24 years old, Joy was diagnosed with Polycystic kidney disease, a condition she’d had since birth that would likely result in the need for a kidney transplant in the future. She continued on with her life and had regular checkups to keep tabs on her condition. By the time Joy was 52, however, the decline of her kidneys caused immense fatigue and her blood work showed an increasing number of things out of balance. Though trying to control the imbalances with diet, her trips to the doctor and her need for intravenous iron treatments increased. Her kidneys were failing.
When her Winston-Salem, North Carolina-based nephrologist determined that Joy’s kidney function was at only at 18 percent, he recommended she be placed on the transplant list unless she could find a donor herself. Joy and her family had always assumed that her twin sister Judy would be her donor but during the testing phase it was found that Judy also had Polycystic kidney disease and while it was a less severe case than Joy, it was enough to rule Judy out as Joy’s donor.
A Match
Back in Oak Hill, when Doug heard that Judy wasn’t a candidate, he visited Joy in her office and announced, “Listen, Joy, if you need a kidney, I will give you one. There is just no question.”
Doug insists he didn’t do anything out of the ordinary by offering to give Joy a kidney. “Joy is one of those people who, in fact, is the very spirit and image of Christ’s love in this world,” he explains. “She holds me accountable in a loving way but is also honest enough to tell me what she thinks might be best for me to hear in the loving Spirit of Christ. We are all blessed by her presence. We need more [people like] Joy Groves in the world. Friends like her cannot be replaced.”
Though she was in tremendous need, Joy wrestled with the decision to accept such a huge gift from Doug; she always had assumed it would be her sister helping her. “Doug is the type of person who is very certain about what he wants to do,” Joy explains. “But,” she adds, “it was a mental shift for me to accept a kidney from him. Even though Doug is as close to family as I can get, I didn’t grow up thinking I was going to get a kidney from him.”
Doug underwent donor testing at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center in Winston-Salem and wasn’t surprised when the doctor confirmed he was a match for Joy. Even though many people stood in line to give Joy a kidney, Doug stands firm that being Joy’s donor gave him a chance to do one good thing in this world. On two different occasions, the hospital phoned Joy to let her know that a cadaver kidney was available, but both times Doug was adamant Joy would receive a donor kidney which would statistically give her the best results. Joy couldn’t argue with the statistics: a donor kidney has a lifespan of 20 to 25 years and is an easier transition for the recipient while a cadaver kidney lasts a mere 12 years.
On July 12, 2016, Joy received her new kidney from Doug. At the moment the surgeon transplanted Doug’s kidney to Joy, Joy’s skin color began to change, the tissues pinkened, and the body began cleansing itself of impurities.
The Recovery
Meanwhile, doctors had warned Doug that his recovery could be more painful following surgery than Joy’s, but as a weight lifter in good shape, Doug and everyone around him expected he’d beat the averages. It wasn’t that easy, however, and Doug admits he wasn’t mentally prepared for the pain and long recovery time he felt as his body adjusted to functioning with one kidney. But after four weeks of recovery, Doug was kayaking at the beach (to the chagrin of his wife) and soon was back in the pulpit. By the end of August, he was back in the weight room.
Now, Doug says, “I feel great. I can’t even tell I have only one kidney. In fact, I feel better than before. The human body has a two hundred percent cleansing rate with two kidneys, so with one kidney I still have a one hundred percent cleansing rate.” Follow-up tests confirm Doug has adjusted well and is in good health. Doctors maintain that because donors become more aware of their health via the donation process they likely take better care of themselves after the procedure.
Humble Sacrifice
Joy is thankful for Doug’s kidney and that he has recovered from the donation but admits she still feels bad when his gift to her creates difficulties in his life. “Several months after the transplant, Doug suffered some knee pain,” she says. “I felt really guilty when he was unable to manage the pain since he can’t take Ibuprofen because it could compromise his kidney function. But Doug has been humble about his role as donor even though his decision completely changed the outcome of my life. Actually, Doug saved two lives when he gave me one of his kidneys because he allowed someone else to receive the cadaver kidney that was offered to me.”
Meanwhile, though Joy will remain on anti-rejection medications for the rest of her life, Doug’s sacrifice offers a powerful reminder to go along with his demonstrated humility, saying, “God will always take care of us.”
This article was originally written for the Summer 2018 Edition of The Journey magazine