A Prisoner of Doubt Turns to Faith in Jesus Christ

From the Archives: Summer 2011

Written by Tammy Alderson

Growing up, my home life was wonderful. My parents taught me right from wrong; they took me to church every Sunday. Even though I knew all the Bible stories, as a teenager I became rebellious.

A Life Out of Control

The rebellion resulted in my teen pregnancy as a senior in high school and at 18 years old I was married. For the next year and a half hardly a day went by that my husband didn’t abuse me physically. My next marriage took place when I was 20. During this time, an employer introduced me to speed. It was a recreational drug I used on the weekends. I went from pills to cocaine at 25-years old, and, in the early 80’s, a truck driver introduced me to meth.

My next employer was heavy into cocaine, but I continued to use meth. Neither my husband nor my son ever knew what happened to me. There were a lot of secrets, lies and mistrust in the second marriage. I liked drugs and he liked women --- we were doomed. He left in 1992; we had become two people living in the same house. I couldn’t deal with it and I realized that there was going to be no “white picket fence” in my life.

For the first time in my adult life, I was single, free to go where I wanted to go so I went to the bars and eventually worked at one. My son was given far too much freedom for a 15 year old. I just wasn’t there for him. My son, unknown to me, became involved in the drug world, as well.

I met Fred Alderson in 1994 and we were married in 1996. I was using meth on a regular basis, and eventually we started using meth together. We didn’t consider ourselves addicts. After growing tired of “using trash”, Fred decided to learn how to make it.

When God Intervenes

Our downward spiral continued – we got sick of the lifestyle but could not get ourselves out of it. Now we look back and know that the Lord intervened by literally turning our life upside-down. The State Bureau of Investigation burst the balloon wide open in 2003. I was arrested and taken to jail; later the same day, Fred was taken to jail. We posted bond, went home and began the cycle all over again.

In 2004, Fred was sentenced to 24 months in prison; I was given five years in prison and 18-months probation. After crying for several days, a jailer who knew my family asked if she could call someone for me – my parent’s pastor and his wife talked with me, we prayed and I gave my life back to Christ.

God Is My Refuge

A few days later, I was sent to Raleigh Women’s Prison – better known as the devil’s playground. The dorm I was in was referred to as “the jungle”, the worst dormitory in the entire facility. I was terrified the entire seven months I was there. But, it was in “the jungle” that the Bible became my refuge – I was a dry sponge soaking it all in.

For those seven months, I could feel God’s hedge of protection around me – I saw things happen in that dorm that I had never even heard of, but I was never bothered nor intimidated. I just sat on my bed and read the Bible! Deuteronomy 31:8: Be strong and courageous – do not be afraid or terrified for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Every day God gave me peace and a smile. Each Sunday I would try to go to church but because of space limitation I could never get into the service. Then one day I met one of the choir members and she asked me if I could sing. She invited me and a friend to choir practice – we were the only white women in the all-black choir but we got to go to worship service every Sunday after that!

Growing in Love and Truth

My incarceration included two additional transfers and then I was permitted to participate in a work- release program. During my last 12 months, I was allowed to spend 48 hours per month at home. My husband, Fred, became my Bible teacher. Out of prison and a fervent reader, he had learned so much. Philippians 4:13 which says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” got me through the final three years of my incarceration.

Although my family’s efforts to get my second sentence commuted failed, it allowed me to see that even though God had delivered both of us from alcohol and drug addiction instantly before we went to prison, we had never known each other sober and clean. We needed this time to get to know each other for the first time.

My Doubts Have Turned to Faith

When we were in prison, we lost everything -- our home and our vehicles. For us to come out with nothing and now for Fred to be building a painting business and me managing my parent’s restaurant in Valle Crucis -- we know we are truly blessed. I just live in amazement at how the Lord answers prayers because I was such a doubter. He continues to show me daily that He does hear me and knows what is going on with me. My doubts have turned to faith.