God Never Wastes An Experience

From the Archives: 2009

Written by Joe London

As I look back over the events of my life, I am amazed at how God has used both the good and the bad experiences to prepare me for my work in the ministry. In many ways, my childhood is very similar to most kids. But there are some unusual circumstances that I encountered as well. Some of my earliest childhood memories are of spending my summers with my grandparents and taking care of my bedridden grandfather so my grandmother could go to work. I had days that were filled with typical make-believe battles and wars, but I also had some very real battles in life as well.

As the oldest child of alcoholic parents, I had to step up and take care of my younger sisters by doing things like walking them to and from school and preparing their meals. I had to make sure they had clothes to wear and lunch money. I remember having to take care of home repairs, take teacher’s calls and even console my younger sisters in trying and confusing times. I remember many nights that I put my mom to bed simply because she never made it that far. Eventually, I began to realize that I had to do a lot of things that other kids didn’t do. I sometimes felt like a substitute parent.

Dad drove a truck so he was mostly gone during the week. When he was home on the weekends he seemed to remain under the influence of alcohol as well. My mom’s alcohol problem seemed worse because we had to encounter and endure it more often. My parents loved us greatly, took care of our needs and were just great overall parents when they were not using alcohol. But those times seemed much less than when they were under the influence. When they were together and drinking they argued and fought, both physically and verbally. This made it hard to develop friendships. I was always afraid to have friends over because I never knew what might be going on. As I began to understand that my parents were alcoholics, I tried to protect their reputations. I was ashamed of my own family. I was embarrassed to have my mom come to my sporting events. I often wondered why all this was happening to me. Seeing what alcohol did to them, I was sure I would never so much as taste alcohol myself.

During my early years, there was no spiritual influence in my life at all. It wasn’t until I was in about 6th or 7th grade that I first rode a Salvation Army bus to Vacation Bible School or to Sunday School, and even that influence was minimal. My connection to the Salvation Army surfaced again while doing a service project in high school, which involved me opening up their building for after-school activities on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I began to get to know some of the church people. I even joined a band that would play at churches on Sunday nights and at youth rallies. Even so, I made sure I didn’t get too involved.

I did well academically in high school, considering my home life. After high school, I worked for a year before deciding to attend Appalachian State University—maybe more so to leave the problems of life behind than to obtain an education. Once there I encountered more battles. My previous resolve to avoid alcohol at all costs disappeared within about 5 or 6 weeks. The peer pressure to drink in order to fit in and be accepted was just too strong for me to resist. I found myself engaging in the very same horrible behavior that had haunted my childhood and life to that point. My drinking was pretty limited though since I went home almost every weekend.

After my parents divorced, finances became limited and I had to pay my own way through school; therefore, I always had to work. In my third year at App, I took a job as a Resident Assistant in one of the dorms. The responsibilities I developed as a child in a dysfunctional home were developed even more as I took care of students in an entire hall.

Working and going to school meant I often couldn’t carry a full load of classes. My academic career stretched beyond 4 years. In the middle of my 5th year, the university asked me to take over a Resident Director’s job, in charge of a whole dorm. It was a good financial benefit but involved even more time and responsibility. Eventually, I had to give that up and I went to work full-time for a local downtown business. I spent the next 15 years working at Boone Sports Center during the week and mostly playing softball on the weekends.

While at App State I met and began dating my future wife, Mitzi. She was an even greater gift from God than I realized at the time. She was a believer and had accepted Christ at an early age, but she had very little discipleship and was not extremely mature in her faith yet. We were married in 1985 and, about that time, God began to put people in my life that “at that time” seemed to be the most annoying pests. But they have proven to be some of the most influential people in my life and now are great friends. The biggest pest was Morris Critcher or just “Critch” as most people know him. Mitzi and I bought the house next door to Critch and from the very first day there he invited us to Howard’s Creek Baptist Church and did not stop until we finally visited. At the same time, a local pastor who had organized a downtown businessmen’s Bible study would regularly come into the sports store to invite us to the study. He was a very godly man and seemed so nice, but most of the time we would run out the back of the store when he came in so as to avoid him.

Meanwhile, Critch remained persistent to invite us to church. I was still too busy seeking happiness and all of life’s answers by playing softball tournaments on weekends, but Mitzi actually started going. I could see a difference in her life, so one Sunday I agreed to go. I didn’t go back for a while, but eventually, I began to go regularly with Mitzi. After about 3 months I even started listening to what the preacher was saying. Then one Sunday at the end of the service I found myself walking to the front of the church. I didn’t understand what all was involved in being a Christian, but by this time I was desperate for something. I told God, “God, I want more out of life. I don’t understand what this is about, but I’m ready to try it Your way.”

I became like a sponge. I soaked up all I could about God and His Son through the preaching and the Sunday School teaching at Howard’s Creek. Critch got me involved with RAs, a missions program for boys at the church. There was no youth ministry at the time, but somewhere along the way, it was suggested that Mitzi and I do something with the kids. We started with only 4 but it grew quickly. It wasn’t long before I was offered a staff position working 10 hours a week as a youth minister. After about a year my job was increased to 20 hours a week. Another year or so went by and I was offered a full-time position and was ordained.

I’ve been in youth ministry for 23 years now. I’m probably one of the longest-serving youth ministers in North Carolina. I’ve seen a lot of great things happen by being in one church that whole time. Who would have thought that Shelby boy with alcoholic parents would end up a youth minister? But as I look back on my experiences raising my sisters, working at the Salvation Army, and being an RA and an RD at App State, I can see that God was preparing me for ministry with youth long before I was even a believer. From all the positive people, especially those at Howard’s Creek, all the way back to the negative and trying experiences of childhood, I now see that God never wastes an experience.