The Question That Changed My Life
From the Archives: 2009
Written by Buzz Peterson
“Buzz, there is a question you need to answer. Where do the kids and I fit into your life?”
I was in my second year as head coach at Appalachian State University when my wife, Jan, laid that question on me. It was a question that changed my life. Nine years earlier as an assistant coach at App, I set a goal for myself of becoming an NCAA head basketball coach by the age of 32. I had made it. Now my goal was to coach a major college team that could contend for an NCAA championship. The only way I knew to get there was to outwork the competition. I was in my office or on the court from 7:00 in the morning till 11:00 every night. My wife and kids were seeing very little of me.
Jan is my best friend and the backbone of my life, so when she asked me that question, I knew I couldn’t blow it off. With just a little bit of self-evaluation I realized I had made basketball my god. My number one priority was basketball and somewhere down the list was my family and my relationship with God.
Buzz Peterson coached at App State from 1987-1989, 1996-2000, & 2009-2010.
I grew up going to church regularly. I had known some very strong believers who both talked the talk and walked the walk while I was playing basketball at The University of North Carolina. And I had married a woman whose faith is the anchor of her life. I had been exposed to the Christian life enough to know my priorities were out of order and that I needed help.
I decided to call on a local minister, Bud Russell, to lead me and the team in a Bible study. We ended up studying a book by Patrick Morley called The Man in the Mirror. The book caused me to do just that—look at the man I saw in the mirror. But, even more, I began to learn that my priorities in life needed to be God first, then my family, and then my career.
I began to make significant changes, but not everything straightened out over night. Instead of working in the office until late at night, I began to take work home. That was an improvement, but it still wasn’t what God and my family needed from me. Finally, I began to leave my work at the office so I could devote time to my family and being the spiritual leader of my home.
That year we went on to win 21 games and made it to the finals of the Southern Conference Tournament. The next year we also won 21 games and the following year we won 23 games and secured a berth in the NCAA tournament.
That was 9 years ago. Since then I’ve chased the dream of being a big-time college basketball coach. I’ve had success and I’ve had failure. Through it all my wife and my kids have stood by me. The last 2 years I have worked behind a desk for the Charlotte Bobcats, owned by my old college roommate, Michael Jordan. While it was a great opportunity, there was something missing for me professionally. I realized that what I love to do, what I was made for, was to coach. While a big part of coaching is developing winning basketball teams, I have come to realize that the greater value for me personally is found in preparing young men for life.
I often think back on that day when Jan asked me the question that changed my life and I wonder, if she hadn’t put that challenge to me, where would I be now. It scares me to think where I might have ended up. Thankfully, I didn’t have to find out. I’m blessed with a relationship with a great God who loves me, a wife and three kids who mean everything to me and the joy and privilege of coaching basketball again at Appalachian State. I plan to work every day to keep my priorities in that order!
