The Roller Coaster Ride of a Coach’s Wife

From the Archives: 2008

By Margaret Moore

Being married to a football coach is a lot like riding a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs, twists and turns and just when you think it might be slowing down, off it goes at breakneck speed.

I was reared in a Christian home in Minneola, Texas. Mother was the organist at the Baptist church and Daddy was a Methodist. All I ever knew was church life. When I was six years old, my pastor called me into his office and walked me through the plan of salvation. Although I was so young, it really took with me. The next Sunday, my Methodist father walked me down the aisle and we were baptized together. I was discipled in my church by loving Sunday school teachers and youth pastors. My Christian walk was consistent and I escaped the baggage of teenage rebellion.

Mother had always prayed that God would send me the right husband. I met Jerry at Baylor University and fell in love with him on our first date. Mother’s prayers were answered. We dated three years and after graduation we were married. A Christ centered home was my fervent goal, not as a duty but out of a sincere desire to honor God. I loved Jesus and I loved Jerry. Texas Tech offered Jerry his first major head coaching job and off we went to Lubbock, Texas. In retrospect, Jerry says it was the only job he didn’t pray about. They called, dangled the carrot in front of him and he accepted the offer. We were there five years. I got a teaching job; we bought a beautiful house on a golf course. We went to church, but never really got involved for lack of time. The move was hard on our teenage children. They missed their friends and schools.

Jerry was gone constantly. The entire football program had to be rebuilt from the ground up. It required long hours. At one point, our daughter thought her parents were separated because she never saw her daddy. I became bitter. I felt the whole responsibility for family weighing on my shoulders. By this time my father had died and my mother had Alzheimer’s disease so we had moved her to be near us.

In my bitterness, I deliberately walked away from my relationship with my Lord. I decided to do my own thing and I felt God folded His arms and said, “I’m here when you decide to come back.” I literally went through adolescent rebellion in my forties. Though I felt guilty and miserable, I was also desperately lonely. I filled my life with parties and anything else society had to offer. I was never unfaithful to Jerry, but I stopped being the loving, supportive wife he needed. I no longer honored God in my life, my home, my marriage or in being a godly mother. I couldn’t see that it wasn’t Jerry’s fault that our family was suffering. He was trapped.

Bum Phillips once remarked, “There are two kinds of coaches. Those who have been fired and those who are going to be fired!” The school hired a new Athletic Director and Jerry was fired for not having a winning season. He felt he had not only let our family down but also the families of his assistant coaches. When the head coach gets fired, his assistant coaches usually lose their jobs, too.

Jerry went to work for a company in Dallas making more money than he ever thought possible, but he was miserable. I stayed in Lubbock for a year so our daughter, Elizabeth, could finish high school. God was no longer the center of our lives. We were out of His will. He was allowing us to run our own lives. We moved to Mt. Vernon, Texas, about an hour from Dallas, and I got a teaching job.

Jerry was unexpectedly transferred to Atlanta, Georgia. I finished the semester at school and then joined him. We both realized we needed to re-examine our lives. We were out of God’s will and we desperately needed Him back in control. On his knees, Jerry called out to God. “If you really want me to coach, put me where I can be a spiritual force in the life of my players.” This where we began to feel God leading. Jerry called Ken Hatfield at Arkansas and put out the word he wanted to get back into coaching.

“Would you be interested in doing some volunteer coaching here in Arkansas? We can’t pay you but we sure could use you.” With three kids in college, we accepted and once again I got a teaching job. I will forever love that coaching staff and their families. They were all believers. They took us in and loved us back to life. God restored our Christian lifestyle and reminded us how sovereign He is. This was indeed His plan for us.

We were only there a year when a position opened at App State. Jim Garner, the Athletic Director, called to ask if Jerry would be interested. We prayed and with our faith rebuilt, we stepped out in faith. We didn’t hear God say yes or no. The afternoon before Jerry was to be introduced as the new coach at App. Ken called and offered him the position of Offensive Coordinator at Arkansas. It would have meant total security and was hard to pass up. Once again, Jerry was on his knees. The Lord gave us the option. We could stay or launch out. We came to Boone in 1989.

Since our time in Arkansas until now, God is indeed the center of our lives. We have learned our lesson well. Never again will we neglect our quiet time with the Lord, prayer for His direction or His written word. More necessary than our daily food, they provide the strength and confidence that keep our lives on track.