Finding Life after Tragedy

God’s Story of Redemption Through Adoption

By Emily Mitchell

As a Life Flight helicopter took off from the church grounds carrying her 4-year-old daughter Peyton, Sarah clutched her other daughter Lilly Grace and prayed over and over again, “Not my will but yours be done, not my will but yours be done.”

It was a prayer she had been trying to teach her young daughters to pray and believe about the worries in their own lives. But it’s a prayer that’s nearly impossible to pray when you’re pleading about the life of your daughter.

That night, Sarah, Randall, and Lilly Grace Townsend said goodbye to their sweet Peyton following a tragic accident. In the months and years following Peyton’s death, they each worked through their grief in different ways. Even though they had prayed that His will would be done, the question of why God would allow this tragedy was at the forefront of most days. Some days, there was light and hope, but other times, the darkness and despair was overwhelming.

But God

He specializes in taking our stories of brokenness and rewriting them into songs of redemption. He takes our bleakest moments of despair and uses them to teach us the true measure of joy.

And in the darkness and hopelessness that surrounded Peyton’s death, He was quietly bringing to life a desire in Sarah and Randall that had been dormant. He was writing a new chapter of their story that would bring joy and life back to their family, and give a little boy in Texas hope and a family.

“He takes our bleakest moments of despair and uses them to teach us the true measure of joy. ”

A Seed of Hope

Years before Sarah and Randall had children, God planted a seed in Sarah’s heart for adoption when she was on a mission trip in Atlanta, Georgia. After being confronted with abject poverty and the lack of resources that the parents had to offer their children, she felt God tug her heart and whisper to her that one day she would welcome a child into her home from these similar circumstances.

Years later, Sarah gave birth to her first child, Lilly Grace. Peyton followed two years later and, with her birth, Sarah experienced a debilitating post-partum depression that later turned into a diagnosis of major depression. Her doctor advised her that she shouldn’t get pregnant again due to likelihood of another bout of depression.

Knowing their family wasn’t complete, Randall and Sarah started to seriously consider adoption as a way of expanding their family. In May 2011, they committed to growing their family through adoption. But, barely a year later, Peyton was lost in a tragic accident, and Sarah and Randall’s plans for adoption were momentarily forgotten. In 2013, Randall went to the Dominican Republic with their church. Through is interaction with some of the local kids, God reaffirmed that adoption was part of His plan for their lives.

Faith Hurdles Removed

After returning from his trip, Randall and Sarah began to research and pray about adoption and what it would look like for their family. Wrapping their minds around the financial aspects of how to pay for the adoption was one of the biggest hurdles they faced.

“I knew God was calling us to adopt, but the thought of taking on so much debt was daunting and seemed impossible,” said Randall. “I was already working 3 jobs and Sarah had 2 just to make our current ends meet. But, after our first meeting with our consulting firm, the consultant told us a couple stories of seeing God provide the money - for no reason, or explanation, but because people were faithful and stepped out when God was calling them.”

Hearing those stories helped Sarah and Randall find their faith and trust they needed to forge ahead with the adoption, trusting that God would meet their faith with His provision.

In November 2016, they signed paperwork to begin the adoption process to adopt domestically through Faithful Adoption Consultants.

God’s Perfect Timing, In Fast-Forward Mode

God’s timing is perfect - and sometimes a little faster than our own. After starting the adoption process in November 2016, they were put on a waiting list on December 20 of the same year. Less than a month later, on January 14, 2017, they received a call that a birth mother had picked them.

As Sarah remembers, “I was asleep when we got the call that we were picked. I never answer the phone when I’m asleep, but it woke me up and I popped right up. It was our consulting firm telling us we ‘matched’. I started yelling for Randall, who came running in. We were both grinning from ear to ear. I can only imagine if our joy was light, our house would have lit up from the glow coming out the windows, and woken up the whole neighborhood, we were glowing so much!”

Though they woke up Lilly Grace that night to tell her that they were matched, it wasn’t until the next day that she really realized what was happening. “I asked her if she wanted a brother, and she covered her face and starting wailing! She could not believe it. She’s been praying and dreaming for this opportunity and this part of our family since Peyton died.”

Watching Lilly Grace’s excitement to tell her friends and teachers and her joy in seeing God’s faithful answer to her prayers was a beautiful confirmation that this adoption was exactly what God planned for their family. They were told that the due date was February 9, so they quickly began making travel plans, gathering baby supplies, and readying their house for the arrival of their new baby boy.

“The community was so amazing in helping us prepare for our baby boy’s arrival. We would meet friends at restaurants and gas stations who would happily offload their baby supplies and, before we knew it, we had almost everything we needed to bring him home,” remembers Sarah.

On January 23, late in the evening, Sarah and Randall got some unexpected news: the mother’s water had broken, and their little boy was on his way. They hopped on a plane by 5a.m. the next morning and he was born at 12:30a.m. on January 24. They arrived at the hospital in Houston at 9.a.m. and, within a few minutes, were holding their sweet baby boy - Maxwell Houston Townsend.

Every part of his name has meaning. On the day that they learned they had been picked, Lilly went to school and told a favorite teacher, “We got a match.” Her teacher misheard and thought she said, “We got a Max,” and the name just stuck. They decided to add “well” to honor Peyton, as the last song they played at her funeral was “It is Well.” Houston is a nod to the baby’s birthplace.

Saying Goodbye and Hello

Sarah and Randall were able to spend time with the birth mother - Mama G - in the hospital and really fell in love with her. Though she was a successful woman with a strong support system and career, his birth mother realized she couldn’t offer him everything she wanted him to have - a mother and a father.

“While we know she could have raised him, we are so incredibly grateful that she chose us as the parents who could offer him a home, said Sarah.

For two weeks, the family stayed in Texas. During the first 48 hours, Randall, Sarah, and Lilly Grace waited in the hospital until Mama G could legally release Max to his new family. In those first hours, Max was brought back and forth between the birth mother and the new adoptive parents, giving Mama G a sweet time to say goodbye and continuing to prepare Sarah and Randall’s hears to welcome their little boy into their life.

They spent nearly two weeks in Texas, waiting for the adoption paperwork to be cleared through both Texas and North Carolina. After spending a few days in Houston, the family decamped to Galveston on the coast for the remainder of the trip to avoid the Super Bowl traffic and spend time bonding as a family. They were all incredibly happy (and exhausted) when it was time to head back to North Carolina.

Settling and Seeking Help

Settling into life with a newborn has been a new adventure. They expected the little things that are always hard with a newborn - nighttime feedings, bottle cleaning, random crying. One unexpected joy has been watching the bond between Lilly Grace and Max. Lilly Grace is smitten with little Max - and he with her.

Sarah went back to work part-time after they were home for a week. Despite the tiredness that comes with a newborn, she was doing great and happy to be back in a routine. Then, at week 8, she started to feel the same post-partum depression that she experienced with Peyton. The signs were the same - exhaustion to the point of delirium, uncontrollable tears, the inability to perform daily functions, an overwhelming sense of wanting to disappear. Recognizing the familiar signs, Sarah went on medical leave to focus on getting better. She called her doctor and kept calling and seeing him until she saw herself coming back.

“I knew that God had blessed me immensely and that I had so much to live for. But I couldn’t fight this on my own. I needed help, and sought it out until I got better. I hope other moms can know that these feelings are okay - but to seek help until you feel hope coming back to your life.”

The Constant: God’s Faithfulness

This hope and God’s faithfulness continue to be the theme of the Townsend’s story. Sarah is quick to point out the ways that God keeps reminding her to trust Him and His goodness.

“It takes years and lots of hindsight to see the way God is taking care of you. A year before Peyton’s accident, God orchestrated it so that our family could move from a hard situation in Winston to all live together again in Boone. After her death, He held me close and loved me and designed this incredible journey for me and Lilly Grace and Randall. He taught me amazing things, and He was active in my life in words and ways I can’t describe. Sometimes people don’t ever see God move, but I have, even though it was through the loss of my 4-year-old.

“When it came to adopt, I felt sure of His calling in my life. I knew if He held and led me through the worst moment of my life already, then He was going to do the same through this. So in the moments of stress, doubt, and fear during the adoption process, I kept reminding myself that He led me once, and He’ll keep doing it. Even when I can’t see through the fog of life, if I just keep trusting Him, He will show His face so brilliantly. And when I look at Max, I see God’s amazing face in my life!”

This article was originally written for the Summer 2017 Edition of The Journey magazine.