This Man Is My Son!
Carter And Jeanie Randall Welcome A Son-in-law And Break Through Strongholds Of Division
By Ben Cox
Last year around this time, Connie, my wife of 41 years, and I were emerging from a particularly rough season where tough circumstances hit us one wave after another. God’s grace was more than sufficient to get us through that time and we’re still processing and learning lessons from the pain and stress of those events.
One of the greatest blessings He bestowed on us through that time, however, was a reinvigorated prayer life together in the early morning hours. Much of our focus in prayer has to do with finding God’s purpose for the home stretch of our lives. It’s something we’ve pondered quite a bit as we consider the kind of spiritual legacy we want to leave for our six children, their spouses, and the nine grandchildren (so far) with which the Lord has blessed us. In conjunction with this prayer focus, we’ve felt led to ask specifically for mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, and physical health as well as fruitfulness in this time period.
As the Lord has answered these prayers, He has challenged us in regards to what we do with our time. Since people’s true priorities are revealed by how they choose to spend their time, we have been doing some serious soul-searching and re-evaluating in those areas.
One thing we’ve both become more intentional about is investing in meaningful relationships. Of course, our large family and marriage relationship are top priorities, but we are also becoming more determined to reinvest in long-standing relationships we’ve built in our 41-plus years of living in Boone.
Connie has done a much better job of maintaining meaningful relationships with her friends than I have with mine, but I am resolving to change that! By making it a point to go beyond the surface with men I know, I am being encouraged and renewed in meaningful ways.
The Randalls
One long-standing friendship I’ve enjoyed renewing is with Carter Randall who I met at church in 1978. Carter is what I would describe as a manly man: he stands over 6’ 3” inches tall and is all muscle; a true homegrown, mountain man who has always made his living by the sweat of his brow and the work of his hands.
Even now, I remember vividly the first time I laid eyes on Carter. This big man, who was approximately 29-years-old at the time, came through the door of the church where I was leading worship. Perhaps it was because he was so much taller than his wife Jeanie’s 5’ 5” stature or maybe it was the look on their faces, but something about them got my attention.
When I shared this memory with Carter and Jeanie they gave me more insight into their mental, emotional, and spiritual state at the time. Jeanie said, “We were backslidden, desperate, and headed for the “D” word, divorce. We had been married 2½ years, had a six-month-old baby boy, and were thinking that finding a good church might help us. We’d been church shopping to no avail, but finally went to this church Carter’s co-worker, Wayne King, had been inviting us to try. The presence of God that we encountered there touched our hearts and motivated us to get right with God and to get our priorities straight.”
In this same time frame, I remember a particular worship service where the emphasis had to do with the God the Holy Spirit and the believer’s need to be born of the Spirit, baptized in the Spirit, and continually filled with the Spirit. Carter and Jeanie came forward at the end of the service and I had the privilege of following up with them in an office we used for counseling and prayer.
Though I can’t remember the words we prayed or the things we discussed, I do remember the hunger that this couple had for God and the powerful encounter we all had with the presence of the Lord. It was as if heaven itself opened and buckets of liquid love, grace, mercy, and compassion were poured over and into the grateful hearts of this precious couple. Now, 40 years later, their love relationship is still alive and Carter and Jeannie’s sincere love, devotion, and hunger for God is still strong.
From the time the Randalls took that step, Connie and I have had the privilege of knowing them and growing with our families together in a tight-knit, loving, Christian community for over 22 years. And though our spiritual journeys have taken different directions for the last 17 years, I am thrilled to be renewing my relationship with Carter!
Mending Racial Divides
Recently, at a monthly coffee time some of us attend for the purpose of renewing old friendships, Carter made casual mention that he might have a story suggestion for me to use in The Journey. That’s when he first began to tell me the story of his daughter Mollie’s marriage and the ministry she and her husband are involved with in Ferguson, Missouri.
Mollie dated Jonathan Tremain (JT) Thomas when they attended East Carolina University together. They met through the campus ministries they were a part of and they married May 21, 2005.
JT is black, Mollie is white, and they have some stories to tell about how the Lord is using their lives to address racial reconciliation issues in our nation and in the church. The things you’ll learn about them through this article and through their website (www.CivilRighteousness.org) will not only inspire you but will inform and educate you in important ways.
Since Mollie and JT live in Missouri, we set up an interview via computer where I could see them on their front porch in Ferguson, a suburb of St. Louis. They live in a nice, old, brick house in a typical suburban neighborhood. It was a beautiful spring day; we chatted, reminisced, and I met their beautiful seven-year-old daughter, Mira. Then we began the interview with this powerful story about JT’s relationship with the father of his bride, Carter Randall, told by JT himself:
One of the most impactful things that has ever happened to me in regards to this whole racial conversation was when Mollie and I started a serious dating relationship. Her family invited me to their annual beach vacation where Carter came up to me and said, “I never in a million years would have imagined that my daughter would bring a black man home. And to be one hundred percent honest with you, I’m struggling. I don’t like it. I’m struggling and I want you to pray for me because I know it’s wrong.”
I was shocked! I’m just a young guy, 22-years-old, and I’m thinking, “What do I say to this?” So I just said, “Okay, I will, I’ll pray for you.” And then he said “No, I mean right now.” and he grabbed my hand to pray with me.
It was challenging because there’s a lot of emotion when you realize that this person standing in front of you is having an issue with me because of my skin color. But I need to bless him and ask God for freedom. And, of course, we pray together and that’s that. Then another year passes and I finally ask for Mollie’s hand in marriage and they say yes, but then it’s at our wedding where Carter stands up and said, “I want you to know, history is being made today. We’re breaking through strongholds.” Then, he looked around and added, “I want everyone to know that this man is my son. He’s my son, and if anybody has a problem with that they gotta come through me.”
The significance of that moment, to be delivered from that which divides us, and for a white Southern man to embrace a young black man was powerful!
Love One Another
When JT finished telling his perspective of that day, it warmed my heart because it illustrates what I’ve come to know and love about my friend Carter Randall. But I was also grateful for the time I got to spend with Mollie and JT. Their wedding story and the the ministry JT has started powerfully demonstrate the type of love that Christ longs for His followers to have for each other regardless of race, denominational affiliation, or political persuasion.
Because of that, I asked JT for permission to quote him extensively in the next article you are about to read which is entitled Billy Graham and Martin Luther King: An Homage to the End of an Era. Beyond that, we will be hearing more about JT’s journey to his current purpose that led him to move his family to Ferguson, Missouri and join with other Christian leaders in crossing denominational, racial, political, and religious barriers “to pursue restorative justice through spiritual wholeness and moral excellence according to the biblical pattern.”
Within ten minutes of interviewing JT, I was so encouraged to encounter a man with local roots who the Lord is raising up and anointing to lead a national ministry that could change the world! With all my heart, I believe that JT’s Civil Righteousness movement and other Spirit-inspired movements have the potential to pray and preach us into the type of spiritual awakening that this nation and world so clearly and desperately need.
In closing, it’s my prayer that all followers of Christ who read these stories will be stirred and motivated by the Holy Spirit to rededicate themselves to obeying Jesus’ command to us as found in John 15: 34-35: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
This article was originally written for the Summer 2018 Edition of The Journey magazine.
