From the Archives: Winter 2011

Written by Danny and Kathy Whittington

(Editor’s note: Our original intention for this story was for it to be 2 different stories. However, once we began our interview, it became apparent that interweaving these stories would be better. Therefore, we’ve written this with Kathy’s part and Danny’s part clearly marked. Enjoy!)

Our story has an unusual beginning. We started in a beauty shop.

Danny: There is a song I love to sing titled “How I Got Over”. The first line is “My soul looks back and I wonder how I got over”. God has helped Kathy and me get over many obstacles. And through all the challenges we’ve faced, God continues to be faithful every day.

Kathy: I moved to Boone in the early 80’s because I wanted God to teach me how to live as a Christian, not just on Sundays but every day. I went to ASU and later met Danny when he started doing my hair. He was my stylist for two years when we began to realize we liked to do many of the same things. He was this “hot” and talented guy, who had seen me at my worst (the day you are having your hair done). It never occurred to me that our friendship would lead to a marriage.

Keeping Our Committments

Danny: Kathy was refreshing. She was consistent. When she said she would do something, she always did what she said she would do. When I would make dates with other girls, they would be late or often not show up. I like the Bible scripture that says “God watches over his word to perform it” (Jeremiah 12:1). Kathy reminded me of that scripture. She keeps her word. This principle set the tone for our relationship, our future marriage, and raising our children.

Kathy: Danny’s love and talents led him to learn to play the keyboard and the guitar in addition to his vocals and trumpet.

Some say Danny is a self-taught musician, but he is quick to remind you that he is Holy-Spirit taught. One of the things I love about my husband is his commitment to all things especially those things of value...Jesus, his family, work, and ministry.

A Racially Mixed and Blended Family

Danny: I was born in Boone but grew up in an orphanage in Oxford, North Carolina. After spending 13 years in the orphanage, I came back to Boone in my senior year of high school. Soon after graduation, I got the travel itch which led me out West singing and performing in clubs. That whole club scene became big in my life and it was hard to leave that lifestyle. When I came back to Boone, I started attending church. God had given me the talent to sing and I found that church provided a place to do that. After I’d been going to church for a while, I realized that beyond getting to sing, I was richly blessed by attending. The church provided a much better atmosphere to use the talent God had given me.

Kathy: After Danny and I got married, one big challenge we faced was being a blended family. He was raising his daughter, Maleah, and the difficulty of a previous marriage turned him away from having more children. I wanted to be a mother but not instantly. Maleah needed a mother though. These were difficult issues in our marriage. Also, bringing two races together was interesting. Thankfully, God got a hold of us and kept us together. We were young Christians and in different places in our faith. But the LORD changed both our hearts concerning family.

Danny: 25 years ago it was difficult being a racially mixed couple. Now there are more blended families especially among young people. This change in society makes me think of Galatians 3:38, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus”. God sees His people and He makes it all come together. He did it with our families. My family welcomed Kathy and has loved her from the beginning. I couldn’t introduce her to my biological father because he never claimed me. But my Heavenly Father adopted me. He is my Daddy. I don’t suffer any lack as a result of growing up without a dad.

Kathy: I use visual tools to teach about marriage and submission. Picture two people riding a horse. Only one person can sit up front and direct the path of the horse. This person is not any better (or worse) than the one in the back. The person in the back has to trust. Submission in marriage is like this. As a wife I choose to submit to Danny’s leadership of our home (and sit in the back). The front position was given to him by God.

Danny: We ride the horse together. It’s not one without the other. Once your wife sees you have her best interest at heart, she will want to submit.

God as Our Father

Danny: The orphanage was an institution, not a home. I never had a man in my life who modeled a father-figure, and because of this I was concerned about having more children. I didn’t know how to be a father. Since Kathy wanted us to have more kids, I looked at the best place to find out what a real father is like. I looked in the scriptures. Without an earthly example of how to be a father, I operated by the Word. The Word of God was my father-manual.

Kathy: It is our desire to impart to our three daughters the importance of being consistent in one’s commitments to each other and to the LORD. We’ve taught our children if they say they are going to do something, they do it. It costs nothing to keep your word.

Danny: Keeping your word is a “Father trait”. He keeps His Word and I want to keep my word. A major factor in our relationship with each other and our children is keeping our word.

God as Our Healer

Kathy: A significant challenge that God continues to help us overcome is my struggle with mental health. I had always struggled with mood swings, but my swings grew into fits of rage then to feelings of condemnation and despair. There were lengthy periods of deep depression. I lived in dark places of hopelessness with feelings of anxiety and anger. My place of isolation became my bed. It absolutely broke my heart when I couldn’t nurture my children like they needed. Insecurity plagued me. After years of this cycle which became too much for Danny and I to handle, I got help. I didn’t realize I was suffering from a strong chemical imbalance until I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder.

I need a “wholeness” approach to remain in a mentally healthy place. I take my medications, see a professional psychiatrist and counselor, I exercise, and try to sleep and eat well. I pray and spend time with God. Through study in the bible, I’m reminded of who I am in Christ...an overcomer. More education needs to be provided on a much larger scale for properly diagnosing mental illness and especially Bi-Polar disorder. There are lots of people who have it and don’t know what it is. Bed is no longer a place of seclusion.

God is Faithful

Danny: God’s Word was my life source during Kathy’s worst times. In the beginning of our marriage, I tried getting my needs met through her. Kathy wasn’t able to meet all of them. When she would have to go to bed, I would go for walks and pray. I kept praying for her to change. And the Holy Spirit would say to me, “You need to change”. God will get you to the place that you can live your life in spite of what is happening around you.

Kathy: Feeling secure in my close relationships is a big part of being whole. God has given me a few people in my life like my friend Sandi Henry, who are my “keepers”. Keeper relationships are born out of a love for one another that looks past the good, bad, and ugly and sees a child of God. When I can’t see with my own eyes, my keepers reminded me of who I am in Christ. We keep each other close to God. We have permission to speak truth into each other’s life. Accountability is an enormous part of being whole.

Danny: I would summarize God in our lives in the same words Billy Graham used once when he was asked to describe God. Dr. Graham said if he had to use one word to describe God it would be the word faithfulness. Faithfulness has become my description of God. To be able to stay the course, God is faithful to watch over us. We are kept.