From the Archives: 2010

Written by Ben Cox

I grew up a PK. PK means preacher’s kid and, because I was one, my parents made me go to all the church services all the time whether I wanted to or not. When I was 8 years old, I went forward at the end of a Sunday morning service to receive Christ as my Savior. I did this, not because it meant something to me, but because I wanted to do it before any of my other church friends did. Needless to say, that didn’t take.

Disillusioned with Christianity

There were many kind, loving and sincere people in my church. However, as I grew older, I began to perceive that the only reason that a lot of people attended church was because it was the socially acceptable thing to do.

As a PK, with a behind-the-scenes view of some of the church politics that my dad had to endure, I became disillusioned with Christianity in general and the church scene in particular. I knew that as long as I lived under my parent’s roof I would be made to attend church, so I accepted that. But, I began to get involved with the wrong crowd at school and started making many bad lifestyle choices.

It was in the church environment that God worked in an unusual way to get my attention. We had a Sunday School teacher that all of the teenagers thought was cool because we only talked about current events and sports in Sunday School. We also suspected that he drank and smoked pot, though he never told us so.

God Got My Attention

Then he and his wife had, what I now know, was a true conversion experience. He went from being cool, to being a Jesus Freak who actually wanted to talk about Jesus and study the Bible. The youth group he taught was intrigued, but skeptical, and we made fun of him behind his back. But, through his influence, I began to be open to God in a way I hadn’t before.

It was in that time frame, that I went out partying with my pals, drinking and driving like we always did. Only this time, we were involved in a terrible accident. The Volkswagen Beetle I was driving swerved into a ditch and flipped over several times landing on the roof. The car was totaled, but the four of us in the car escaped without a scratch.

I remember looking into the sky and saying, “God, you now have my undivided attention.” Not long after that, I had a radical conversion experience and became a Jesus Freak myself.

All this took place in the summer after my 10th grade year. Not long after that, I began to feel like God was calling me to do something I said I would never do. I was feeling the call to full-time ministry.

When I went off to college as a philosophy and religion major, my plan was: college, seminary and then to begin to pastor a church just like my daddy did. But that’s not how things happened for me.

A Desperate Plea, Hope in His Word
In college, the philosophy and religion courses I was taking began to undermine my faith, instead of strengthen it. I began to question if the Bible was really inspired by God and started picking and choosing what I thought was valid and what wasn’t. That, coupled with some extremely disillusioning church experiences, led me to the place where I completely turned away from God.

I doubted God was real at all and I hit a downward spiral in my life that caused me to think I was going crazy. Because of my tormented mental and emotional state, I began to entertain thoughts of suicide.

One night, in desperation, I knelt beside my bed and began to pray. My prayer went something like this: “God, I don’t know if you’re real, and I could just be talking into the air, but if you can hear me and if you care, I need some sign of hope. I can’t go on living like this. I have a Bible here, which is supposed to be your Word. Even though I know this is hokey, I’m going to open this up and I want you to speak to me through this.” When I opened the Bible, it fell open to a passage that was, as I remember, the only passage in the whole Bible that was underlined. It was II Kings 20:5 and it simply said: “I have heard your prayers and seen your tears; I will heal you.” At that point, a peace entered my heart that I hadn’t felt in a long time and that night I slept peacefully for the first time in quite a while.

Search for Truth Leads to Christ

After that experience, I no longer questioned if God was real or if He cared, because something profound had happened to me. But I didn’t recommit to be a follower of Christ either. I decided I was going to study all religions and began my own personal search for truth.

Like many in the generation I grew up in, “I tuned in, turned on and dropped out”. I was spiritual, but I had come up with an “all paths lead to God” religion that enabled me to live any lifestyle I wanted, while professing to be enlightened. I actually felt that I had evolved beyond Christianity to a higher spiritual plain.

In this period of my life in 1976-1977, I met and married my wife Connie, who was also a spiritual seeker. After our wedding on May 7, 1977, we traveled out West, working and camping along the way. As part of our spiritual search, we began to read the Bible together.

Before we read, we would pray and ask God to show us whatever truth He wanted us to see. In conjunction with this, I read a book by C.S. Lewis called Mere Christianity. One day, when I was sitting in the mountains, by myself, overlooking the ocean in Coos Bay, Oregon, I read John 15.

The second half of John 15:5 jumped out at me where Jesus said “Apart from me, you can do nothing.” At this point, I felt like Jesus Himself was saying, “Apart from me as I really am, you are nothing. I’m not the Jesus you’ve reduced me to. I’m the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and no man comes to the Father except through me.” One might say that was just my old religious tapes playing, but I knew something powerful was taking place.

“I Surrender”

Right then and there, I raised my hands to heaven and said out loud, “Jesus, I surrender! I’m yours, on your terms, not mine.” In that same time frame, Connie had a similar experience and everything changed for us. Though we were newlyweds, still on our 6-month honeymoon, Jesus made an immediate difference in our relationship.

In the fall of 1977, we felt led to move to Boone, NC, and we’ve been here ever since. Little did I know then, that the pastoral call I felt as a 16 year old would be fulfilled here.

For 21 years, I was involved in full time pastoral ministry and continue to pastor on a part time
basis as I try to build this business that I bought approximately 4 years ago. Connie and I have raised 6 wonderful children here and we’re both incredibly grateful for the difference Jesus has made in our lives.