A Journey of Discovering the Truth and Glory of the Gospel

By Maggie Watts

When I’m serving at church, giving students rides to college ministry, or walking with friends on campus at App State, people sometimes tell me they can clearly see my joy for the Lord. I love hearing that because it means God has given me the honor of being a vessel of His glory. I also love hearing that because it reminds me of my testimony. 

Yes, I am very joyful now. I often feel like my heart is overflowing with love for King Jesus. Sometimes all I can do is sit in awe at how good He is. But I haven’t always felt like this. I have not always had such joy. 

I grew up in a Christian home, with parents who were on fire for the Lord. My little brother and I were loved so well and so fully. Truly, I don’t think I could have asked for a better childhood home. My parents taught me about Jesus from an early age. There are even pictures of me as a baby propped up on my mother’s shoulder as she led worship at church. 

I believed in God. He was always an active part of my life — I believed all the Bible stories to be true. I decided I believed in Jesus at the age of three, and I was baptized when I was eight. As I grew up, I was constantly filled with questions about who God is. But despite all this, I didn’t understand grace. I didn’t understand what baptism truly meant, and I didn’t understand what Jesus did for me on the cross. My eyes had not yet been opened to the glorious truth of salvation through Jesus Christ. 

Without that understanding of salvation, my hopes and desires were focused on things of the world. Nothing ever satisfied me. I thought having a boyfriend would make me happy, but every guy I dated mistreated me. I thought having friends would fulfill me, but they left me feeling lonely and longing for something deeper. I was praised for my good grades and career aspirations, but it didn’t make me feel better. I was involved at a local church, but I constantly felt judged. All the things I once thought would bring me joy were leaving me tired, worn, and hurting. 

As I journeyed through middle and high school, I battled with depression and anxiety. I felt like I was sinking in a black and bottomless ocean, void of all hope and purpose. Every worldly solution I looked to pushed me further into this dark chasm. The relationships, the busyness, the academic success — none of it worked. I remember laying on my bedroom floor when I was 17 and feeling completely numb to the pain. I thought it would never end. 

As painful as this was, I was beginning to realize my heart could not be fulfilled by anything the world has to offer. Every sadness and hurt was pushing me to desire something more. I didn’t realize it at the time, but every night when I lay on my floor — feeling numb and wondering why I felt so broken — God was gently pulling my heart towards His own. 

As an 18-year-old beginning my senior year of high school, my heart was slowly but surely being turned toward Him. During this time, a college student at my church began reaching out to me and showing me Godly love. One morning when we were getting breakfast together, she invited me to attend the upcoming Passion Conference with her in Atlanta. 

I am so glad I said yes to this invitation. 

The conference was held over the 2020 new year’s holiday. A total of 65,000 18-25 year old’s from all over the world gathered in Mercedes Benz Stadium to worship King Jesus and to hear teachings from speakers like John Piper and Sadie Robertson.

I felt God’s presence in the room like I never had never before. And suddenly, it made sense. All the nights spent feeling numb, wondering why I felt so broken, were leading to this. God started a good work in me, and He was seeing it to completion. 

One night at the conference, during worship, the crowd was invited to commit their lives to Jesus. And at that moment, the Holy Spirit prompted me. I turned from the darkness and surrendered to God. It was a moment of total commitment to King Jesus. I didn’t realize the significance of this decision until later — I didn’t even tell anyone after it happened. But that commitment to God was the moment everything changed. 

When I returned to North Carolina after the conference, I returned with God’s breath of true life in me. The heaviness was gone, replaced by a joyful longing to abide in God’s presence for all my days. I began fasting to know God more deeply, and I decided to read through the whole Bible for the first time. I bought an NIV study Bible from Passion City Church (not to be mistaken with the controversial Passion Translation Bible). 

The study Bible I bought, titled “The Jesus Bible,” includes commentary throughout each book that points everything to Jesus Christ. As I read the stories through this Gospel lens, my mind was blown by the way the entire Bible points to Jesus. The stories that I’d grown up hearing were suddenly brought to life. It was as if I once saw them in black and white, and I now saw them in color. As I studied the Passover in Exodus, I realized for the first time how Jesus is truly our perfect Passover Lamb, through which the judgment we are so deserving of passes over us. My eyes were opened to the glory and the beauty of the Gospel. 

During this time, I also read “Don’t Waste Your Life” by John Piper, which was given to every Passion attendee for free. Piper’s explanation of the Gospel and his commentary on a Christian life absolutely shook me. As somebody who previously looked for my purpose in all the temporary pleasures of the world, the realization that my purpose is to live for God alone was groundbreaking. As Piper wrote in the book regarding his call to seminary, “I lay there feeling as if I had awakened from a dream, and knew, now that I was awake, what I was to do.” 

As God continued to show me new aspects of His rich love and glory, and as I entered into this new, joyful life, there was a moment where I felt wrecked by the darkness of my former life. The enemy was using my past to make me feel insecure and ashamed all over again. I wondered, “How could King Jesus ever love a sinner like me?” I was so broken before, trapped in such darkness. And God loved me anyway. How could it be? 

I began praying about this, and the Holy Spirit led me to Luke 7:36-15: “A Sinful Woman Forgiven.” 

In this story, a sinful woman comes to the table where Jesus is sitting, and she just pours out her love for Him. Jesus doesn’t stop her from interacting with Him, even though He fully knows the extent of her sins. 

He loves her. 

The Pharisee at the table scoffs. How could holy God love such a sinful woman? He says “If He were a prophet, He would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.” 

Jesus fully knew how sinful she was — even more so than this Pharisee knew. But He loved her. Jesus explained that she had been forgiven much, so she loved Him much. And, speaking to the woman, He said these beautiful words: “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” 

That single verse — “Your faith has saved you; go in peace” brought me to tears. It quickly became my life verse and my story. Reading this verse was God’s gentle way of reminding me that when I surrendered my life to Him, He redeemed me from that former darkness. By grace, through faith, He rescued me. 

Ever since then, I have been joyfully living for Jesus, confident that my faith has saved me, and, because I’ve been forgiven much, I can now love Him much. God, in His mercy, completely transformed my life and gave me the privilege of being His disciple. 

I was re-baptized last year, a symbol of the redemption I found in Christ and a sign of the miraculous way He opened my eyes to His glory. 

This is my story. I do not deserve to have such a joyful relationship with Jesus. I should still be in that ocean of darkness, without hope. But Jesus loves me. Even though I was completely broken and filled with hopelessness. Jesus loved me. Jesus came after me. Jesus rescued me. And all I had to do was put my faith in Him. 

While I once struggled to find the motivation to even get out of bed in the morning, I now see each day as an opportunity to know God in a new, beautiful way. He is constantly moving me to love Him more. I long to serve Him all my days.